Mile High Burger makes for tall order

Story by Dylan Pitman

The Mile High Burger. One ¾ lb. real beef patty, two fried onions, fried mushrooms, tomatoes, ham, two strips of bacon, two fried eggs, lettuce, mayonnaise, BBQ sauce, mustard, and all between two grilled cheese sandwiches. This is a challenge that seems unthinkable. But as for senior Connor Watson and I, it was just another meal. Well, maybe a little more painful. Well, okay a lot.

We walked into The Green Tomato with the emptiest stomachs. I had not eaten a thing that morning or the night before in preparation for this glorious lunch. We sat down, looked at the menu, looked at each other, and said to the waitress “We know what we want.”

After a terribly long wait, they brought out our feasts. The size of it really astonished me.

This sandwich, stacked high with all the ingredients and served with a side of very unnecessary French fries, looked delicious in every sense of the word. One part of me said, “You know, I haven’t eaten in awhile, I’m really hungry. This looks perfect for me to eat.” But another part of me also said, “What the heck am I thinking?! Look that this food!”  I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and looked at Watson. “Let the torture begin,” I said.

After the first bite, I could immediately tell the sandwich was filled with so much flavor. It was like eating breakfast, lunch and dinner all in one. The taste of the grilled cheese complimented the fried onions and mushrooms very well. I could taste a hint of a BLT from the bacon, lettuce and tomato. The ham and eggs made me go “Hey, this is like breakfast!” Once I bit into the burger, its BBQ sauce glaze surprised me. It was a delicious surprise at that. The ham came out of nowhere as well. I didn’t see most of this sandwich coming. But I did have an idea of the pain.

At first, the burger settled well. About halfway through is when I felt the true pain it was beginning to leave. I had eaten too much food. That was a given. At one point, Watson and I had to get up to stretch and jog in place. When I say torture, I mean torture. We had just ¼ of the burger left, but we weren’t stopping now. Some called us crazy, but we didn’t care. Watson and I were troopers. The waits in between bites began to span to 10 or 20 minutes at a time. The pain after every bite began to escalate. It seemed that we almost had all we could eat but one phrase was in my head: Mind over matter. Finally after an hour and a half, we had taken our last bites. Victory. Glorious victory.

The burger was a good meal for $10.99. The flavors complimented each other well. The chefs at The Green Tomato know how to make a delicious burger. To anyone who has the guts to devour this feast, know that it is a fantastic eat; just be prepared for a horrible feeling in your stomach for the next week.