Dating tips to keep your lady happy

Story by Dylan Pitman

Okay let’s face it: Most guys today have completely lost the true meaning of being a gentleman when wooing and keeping a relationship with a young lady. Most of us forget that girls notice more than we know and they sure as heck have a better memory. Luckily, I’m here to give you some tips on keeping your lady happy and content (the hardest thing in the world to accomplish).

1. Remember important things
A woman’s mind is a cerebral calender. The day you start dating, she writes that down in her head and it’s stuck there forever. The same goes for her birthday, her favorite color, ice cream flavor, TV show, her pet’s name, her grandmother’s middle name…..well maybe not that specific. But still, remember all the little important things. Also, remember that you need to remember dates she tells you. A double date, the next vacation she invited you on, her brother’s bar mitzvah, whatever the case may be. Do not forget it. Your lady will respect you a lot more if you remember mostly everything.

2. Watch what you say
Watch what you say. It’s as simple as that. The words “fat” and “ugly” are to be excluded from your vocabulary completely. When she asks that stereotypical question “Do these jeans make me look fat?”, immediately answer “Not at all. You look great.” Of course, the number one priority in a relationship is honesty, but don’t make her cry. What you should also watch out for is how questions are worded. “What are you doing this weekend?” means “Don’t make plans,” or “What are you up to tonight?” usually means “We’re hanging tonight.” These are hard to catch most of the time so use a technique called “reading between the lines.” Listen to what she says closely so you don’t sound like an idiot, which causes an argument, which causes her to be angry. You usually don’t want this.

3. Keep common interests present
Guys, listen: Girls usually do NOT enjoy video games, sci-fi movies, or talking about fast cars. Find out what she likes and add what you like to that. She’s not going to enjoy a full night of Call of Duty. Save that for your friends. Make sure your nights together include something that you both like. Pizza and Harry Potter make good stay at home dates. Olive Garden, the movies, Cold Stone, and a night looking at the stars is what they call a “romantic date.” Not Game Stop. Stay far away from Game Stop when you’re on a date (unless she does enjoy video games. That’s fine.) Just do things that you like, but make sure she’s having a good time too.

4. Manners are important. Seriously.
Make sure your manners are present. Your girl’s NOT going to enjoy you stuffing your face on a date. It’s okay to eat, but don’t over eat and look like a pig. Trust me, I learned that the hard way. This action will turn a great night into an awkward silence most of the time. Also, watch how you word things. Like tip two, you need to word everything properly and not in a way to be offensive. Don’t call her “dude” because that’s terrible. She’s not your “bro” or “man.” It’s just proper manners to talk to her with nice tones and good words. Also, no burping or farting of any kind. That’s another ticket to a bad date or hang out. Just be yourself, but not to the point of disgusting. And ALWAYS PAY! That’s the key to make her respect you and see the gentleman inside of you.

5. Surprises are welcome
Good surprises I mean. Don’t take that the wrong way. Flowers and candy randomly left on her car are always a good thing. Make sure it’s her car first because that opens a completely different door of disaster. But I digress. Surprising her with a cleanly shaved face after a night of fighting is usually a mood changer. Your lady will also enjoy long, sweet texts to wake up to in the morning. That’s always a plus. Just use your imagination and things will come to you. The best surprises haven’t been thought of yet. Make sure they’re surprises she likes. Buying her a pet possum is not a way to see her smile.

These tips will usually work for you. If they don’t, then go read a book about the subject. It’s really not that hard to keep a girl happy. Just don’t be an idiot.

Lastly, remember this: Us guys are designed to be tough and full of testosterone. But there’s just something about a girl that makes us turn sappy and long to make her feel special. Just go with it.

That one special girl will make you feel like you’re the king of the world. Treat her like a princess and she’ll treat you great as well. Make sure she’s a happy girl and that you let her know how special she really is. That’s all you need to know. Congratulations. I just made your life a whole lot easier.