The Big G challenge

The Big G challenge

Story by Jacob Hill, Managing Editor

There are many challenges throughout life. Some of these challenges we confront because we have to; others we confront by choice. When choosing to face down a challenge, one usually feels some sense of apprehension. You have a sense of confidence, but also a feeling of anxiety. The reason for this is that it wouldn’t be a challenge if it were easy.

Davis and I recently attempted Gusano’s 30 inch pizza challenge. Attempted being the key word. However, we had a few good laughs about it, and to give you the play-by-play, we are going to give you the exact transcript of what went down when we ate The Big G.

Jacob: We’d like to try The Big G.

Server: Seriously?!

Davis: Yeah…

Server: Really?! Oh this is exciting! I’ve never seen it before!

Jacob: (after server leaves) Is that a good thing?

(After pizza is served)

Davis: Yeah we can do that.

Jacob: It really doesn’t look that bad.

(5 minutes later)

Davis: If I eat three slices every ten minutes, I’ll make my goal.

Jacob: Sounds good to me, but keep eating.

Davis: I will

Jacob: We’re making really good time.

Davis: Yeah we should be fine.

(10 minutes later)

Jacob: I’m starting to feel it.

Davis: Me too, but keep eating.

(5 minutes later)

Jacob: Full disclosure. I’ve undone my belt and pants button.

Davis: Dude… I don’t think we can do it.

Jacob: We have to do it.

Davis: No we don’t…

Jacob: Davis! We have to do this.

(5 minutes later)

Davis: We can’t do it.

Jacob: There’s just so much grease…

Davis: It’s just solid and greasy and we can’t do it.

Jacob: Davis, we can’t give up.

Davis: We aren’t giving up, we are going to sit here until the hour is done.

Jacob: I’m going to try to keep eating.

Davis: I can’t. I just can’t eat anymore.

(10 minutes later)

Jacob: You know, I thought I could do it until I literally drank grease while eating.

Davis: Dude, just stop eating.

Jacob: No! I…need…to try…

(5 minutes later)

Jacob: So we couldn’t do it.

Davis: Nope.

Jacob: They said that fifteen people have tried in Texarkana, but only two beat it.

Davis: That makes me feel better.

Jacob: I’m going to try one more slice. (almost chokes). Nope… I can’t even get that down.

Davis: Just stop man.

Jacob: (groans)

(10 minutes later)

Davis: I’ve always wanted to try a food challenge, but this was ridiculous.

Jacob: It really was, how could anyone do this?

Davis: I don’t know man…

(10 minutes later, timeup)

Davis: Well that’s it.

Jacob: I feel bad that we couldn’t do it, but there was no way.

Davis: I know! So much grease…

Jacob: It was like eating motor oil.

Davis: Don’t even say that, you’ll make me sick.

So there you have it. There’s a reason for that doubt as you go into a challenge. While it doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t conquer the challenge, it is the logical part of your mind telling you that there is a chance of failure.

We couldn’t conquer The Big G, but we gave it our best effort. If you think we gave up too soon, and that you could beat it, be our guest. The Big G might be delicious at first, but after 15 minutes you won’t be eating a delicious pizza. You will be eating a heavy, cold slab of grease soaked bread and solid cheese. You’ve been warned.