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The School Newspaper of Texas High School

Tiger Times

The School Newspaper of Texas High School

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Uncovering the facade of high school relationships


Warning: This column goes against the high school relationship norm. Read at your own discretion.

Before I even begin, let’s get one thing straight; this text isn’t gonna fix all of your love life problems. You’ll still have the occasional stupid argument, he’ll still pay more attention to the game on ESPN, and she’ll still take waaay too long to fix her hair.
This isn’t some sort of super magical gypsy spell that’ll make your man tall, dark, and handsome when chanted in a rhythmic manner. I’m not Aphrodite. I’ve still got a lot of learning to do in the big scary world of relationships.
This column was not made to fix your problems. Rather, it was constructed so that you might take a step back and take a deep look into the decisions you’ve made [whether they be good or bad] and your reasoning behind them.
Anywho, enough of my rambling. Let’s get this thing started.

Part 1: The “perfect couple.”
I see them all the time. Holding hands in the hallways between classes. Smiling. Giggling. Every now and then, exchanging an illegal kiss or two. The “perfect” couple.
I go home.
Log onto Facebook.
Scroll down my newsfeed.
There they are again. Surprise, surprise.

Girl- status update: Never ever been this happy in my whole life. Can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with him <3
Boy- status update: I’m hungry.

For the next 48 hours, my daily creeping is corrupted by various forms of “I love you’s” and “I miss you’s”. It’s as if Cupid vomited all over my computer screen.
But then, the unthinkable happens.
The seemingly “perfect” and “totally-in-love” couple are no more.

Girl- status update: I’ve never been this unhappy in my life… heartbroken. </3
Boy- status update: I’m hungry.

High school relationships. Though they have the potential to be great, they can also end terribly.
There is hope.
And even if there isn’t any hope [which I’m pretty sure there is], you’ll always have ice cream, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, and Cheez-Its.

Part 2: You WILL have disagreements.
Every year, I see it.
“That couple.”
You probably know who I’m referring to… The boy and girl who seem to have it all figured out [as if they found some sort of ancient Egyptian text holding all of the secrets ever created and skipped straight to the section about relationships].
“Like, we’ve figured out a way to fix all our problems and stuff. OH EM GEE. And we like, never fight. Ever. And even if we did have a disagreement [which won’t ever ever happen ever because we’re so in love], we’d like, listen to each other and make a compromise. It’s so perfect.”
Great plan. However, it’d be even better if it actually worked.
Readers, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but with every relationship comes disagreements. I’m not just talking about boyfriend/girlfriend relationships. This includes relationships with your friends, parents, brothers, sisters, etc.
Now, I know what you’re probably thinking…
‘Man, this Carlye person is such a pessimist. I wonder what happened to her that made her such a relationship-hater…’
Lemme get one thing through your head. I am a huge supporter of good relationships. By good, I mean the relationships with more benefits than drawbacks. I’m not saying to break things off just because you had one puny argument about whether you should go to Hooters or Red Lobster. That’d be ridiculous.
But anywho, back to what I was saying. Disagreements.
Part of dating someone is accepting them for who they are, flaws and all. Every now and then, those flaws might cause some sort of disagreement, and that disagreement might lead to an argument.
The occasional argument is not only normal, but I sorta think it can be healthy.
Wait, what?
Yep. You read correctly.
A small disagreement every now-and-then can be a good thing.
Whoa… This girl has completely lost her mind. Promoting violence?!
I said nothing about violence.
I said arguments have the potential to be healthy.
But how?
Flashback 12 years ago.

You’re sitting Indian-style on a colorful carpet with the rest of your kindergarten class. As your teacher, Miss Sunshine, passes out dry macaroni and construction paper, you get a whiff of something terrific, and your mouth starts to water.
As your young mind ponders on what could possibly cause such magnificent scent, Miss Sunshine pulls out a bucket of three-year-old Elmer’s glue. Yummy.
Almost immediately after receiving your own personal tube of thick white deliciousness, you twist open the orange cap and begin to pour the glue into your mouth.
Suddenly, you feel your precious Elmer’s glue being pried out of your hands.
You look up to see the chubby face of Little Suzy, staring at you disapprovingly.
“You’re weird.”
As you enter your mom’s Chrysler minivan after school, you can’t hold back your tears as you tell her about what had happened.
“Now sweetie,” she says, voice soft and reassuring, “she really didn’t mean to say ‘weird.’ What she meant was that you’re just different, in your own special way.”

For as long as I can remember, my parents have stressed that fact that each person in this world is unique. Not one is exactly like another.
With that being said, not all of your ideas, thoughts, and beliefs will be an exact match with your boyfriend/girlfriend’s.
That’s part of the beauty of being involved in a relationship. The more and more you get to know each other, the more you can understand each other’s beliefs and reasoning behind them.
However, sometimes not seeing eye-to-eye can cause … ummm…. “creative discussions.” Though some arguments are pointless, others have the potential to do your relationship some good. If you and your “boo” have a minor disagreement and you choose to state the reasoning for your belief in a non-hostile, organized manner, then you’re allowing your boyfriend/girlfriend to better understand the way you see things. This gives your boyfriend/girlfriend the opportunity to, in a super cliche term, take a “walk in your shoes” and might prevent some future disputes.
However, if all you guys do is argue, that ain’t good.
Relationships are formed because they make the couple happy. You wouldn’t date someone who repulsed you, made you cry, and fried puppies for breakfast. With that being said, if you and your boyfriend/girlfriend’s main form of communication is through screaming, you might want reconsider why y’all are dating in the first place.

Part 3: That four-letter word.
I love ice cream, I love scented markers, and I might even love you. Maybe.
But, I am not in love with you.
See what I did there? Yeah. Big difference.
You add the words “am in” after “I,” and the word “love” takes on a whole new meaning.
See, “love” has many definitions. You can sarcastically “love” school, you might enjoy or “love” eating sushi, and you probably “love” your dog Fifi.
However, that mushy feeling you get in the pit of your stomach isn’t love.
The number of hairs atop my head won’t even amount to the number of times I’ve heard something relatively close to this phrase;
“We’re soooo in love. I mean, I know we’ve only been dating for 12 minutes and 22 seconds, but I just know we are. He gives me butterflies. Teehee!”
Mmkay.. maybe I’m exaggerating a bit, but you get what I mean.
That “butterfly feeling” you get when your boyfriend walks by isn’t love. It’s a mixture of nervousness, bad gas, and infatuation.
Wait… what’s infatuation?
Pretty much, infatuation is that short-lived, mushy gushy happiness you feel whenever you’re around your boyfriend or girlfriend. It’s a wonderful feeling, oftentimes confused with love. But it’s not love.
Love is more than the sensation you get when someone besides your mama thinks you’re attractive. Being “in love” with someone takes effort. It takes patience. It takes acknowledging the fact that you and your girlfriend/boyfriend have faults, and so will your relationship.
Being “in love” with someone takes time. So before you fill up my newsfeed posting “I’m in love with you” all over your man’s wall, think about seriousness and true meaning behind those five words.

Part 4:  And finally, the close.
Before I bring this massive column to an end, I’d like to repeat a phrase stated towards the beginning; I am a huge supporter of good relationships. I’m in one now, and honestly, not much can beat the time I get to spend with my boyfriend.
But, with that being said, remember that no relationship is gonna be perfect. If you’re with someone that constantly brings you down, you might want to think about why you’re involved in the relationship in the first place.
Anywho, I’m starving, so I’m about to to wrap this thing up. But, before I leave, I wish you all the best of luck. The world of relationships is a confusing place and can be a bit overwhelming at times, but hang in there. It has the potential to be absolutely amazing.

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The School Newspaper of Texas High School
Uncovering the facade of high school relationships