Awfully laughable


Graphic by Anna Cannon

Story by Anna Cannon, editor in chief

There are different types of bad movies: the boring ones, the confusing ones, the ones with enough plot holes to be a block of Swiss cheese, and the one’s that are so bad they’re hilarious when they don’t mean to be. There’s something riveting about unintentional humor, especially if it’s supposed to be a completely serious topic. So if you’re ever hanging out with a friend and wondering what to do that wouldn’t be completely boring, check these out. Laughing while trying not to cry about the awfulness of a movie at 2 a.m. can be a great bonding experience.

  1. Beowulf (2007)

This is a great movie for seniors who have read the epic poem in English class; not because it’s accurate, but because it makes the whole thing seem a little less daunting and a lot more ridiculous. The movie strays from the poem in the most gloriously awful ways, mostly because writers Neil Gaiman and Roger Avary decided that sex needed to be involved, and Beowulf should fight the monstrous Grendel while totally naked. The movie uses animation similar to “The Polar Express,” but parts of it aren’t animated, so it’s just strange. There’s a lot of blood and gore, but since the fight scenes look more like a bad video game than an actual movie, it’s pretty comical.

  1. The Legend of Boggy Creek (1972)

For a local touch, check out this documentary drama over the Boggy Creek Monster, a Bigfoot-like creature that is said to roam the swamps of Fouke, Arkansas. The movie features reenactments as well as eyewitness interviews, so if you’re from that area, you might recognize someone you know. Granted, this one is pretty slow, so unless you’re intrigued by nature shots and the ambient sounds of Fouke, this isn’t a 2 a.m. sort of movie.

  1. Rubber (2010)

This movie follows the adventures of a sentient tire that rolls around an unidentified desert, meeting people at a shifty roadside motel and blowing their heads up. Yes, you read it right–if a character makes the tire mad, it literally makes their head explode. It’s got more gore than coherent dialogue, and the excitement factor runs in the same direction as the desert: flat and dry. Still, it’s semi-famous on Netflix, so if you want to keep up with the crowd, check it out.

  1. Road House (1989)

All students have that one awful essay, all journalists have that one awful story, and Patrick Swayze has this. Swayze plays a bouncer with a shady past who lands a job at a newly refurbished roadside bar in Middle of Nowhere, Missouri. But not only is he a bouncer–he’s the best bouncer who ever lived. And he’s in the middle of the biggest, most ridiculous battle over a bar that’s ever existed. A lot of people die because this one dude wants the bar, and decides to kill people instead of just buying it or something. The whole thing is pretty much two hours of Swayze beating people to a pulp, interspersed with occasional shots of him doing Tai Chi in a field while shirtless. Oh, and romance has to be involved, of course.

  1. Sharknado (2013)

This Syfy-commissioned B-movie movie basically became a meme in 2013. It’s set in Los Angeles in the middle of a hurricane of massive proportions; so massive, in fact, that it creates a tornado that somehow picks up every single shark (and no other ocean life) from the bay area and drops them onto the city. You would think that a fall from the sky (and later being whirled around in the tornado) would have some kind of adverse effect on the sharks, but unless it’s a chainsaw or an assault rifle, nothing seems to phase them. The movie now has three sequels: “Sharknado 2: The Second One,” “Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!” and “Sharknado: the 4th awakens.” This one isn’t quite unintentionally hilarious; one of the lead actors even said, “It can’t be taken too seriously.” Which is good, because I would worry for the mental state of a director who decided that a serious movie about sharks falling from the sky would be a good idea.