The honest truth about ‘A Good Day to Die Hard’

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Story by Davis Payne, Entertainment Editor

A Good Day to Die Hard was released on Feb. 14 as the next installment of what is commonly accepted as one of the most awesome film series ever. The Die Hard series has had four previous films which have all received reviews ranging from mixed to critical acclaim. With Bruce Willis returning to play the series’ main protagonist, New York Police detective John McClane, in another attempt to thwart the acts of a seemingly terrorist organization, the movie seemed to at least be worth the price of its ticket.

What it looks like on the surface: From the news and the trailers released beforehand, A Good Day to Die Hard looks to be ready to meet the standard set by the series. The plot introduces something new from past films by putting McClane in a foreign country, in this case Russia. We see that our average detective is once again thrown into a conflict which seems to be too much for a New York Detective to handle. So we have the basic plot concept of all the Die Hard films with an unfamiliar setting. Another thing to note is the involvement of McClane’s son in the story, who hasn’t been a starring character in any of the past films. It seems to be established that this father-son relationship has more than a few issues, and so provides another opportunity for the film to capitalize on providing both depth and humor to the story.

What it actually ends up being: The most honest thing I can say about this movie is that, upon seeing it, you will lose hope in the film industry and want to “die hard”. This film begins by building a plot that looks like it will be intricate and enjoyable. At this point it seems that all of the script writers quit and handed over their jobs to what I guess was considered a “more qualified” group. My guess is that it was a group of WWE wrestlers, but it’s open to debate. The non-existent plot then brings McClane to work with his son in a strained partnership to prevent a terrorist organization from acquiring a man for completely unexplained reasons besides the fact he has a “file.” This basically consists of a sequence of action scenes that would be expected of a Die Hard movie, except for the fact that these action scenes break at least five laws of physics and many more laws of logic. As McClane and his son progress, and by that I mean smash and break(usually by falling), through a multitude of obstacles and keep walking away barely injured, I found myself wondering when McClane would reveal that he is actually a very old superman and that I was actually watching a promotional release for Man of Steel. Sadly this moment never came. Instead, the producers opted to furthermore give physics the bird by continuing the film and building up to a “huge” plot twist. The only problem is that for a plot twist to be effective, you have to have a plot which, as we have concluded, there isn’t. The film finally ended to choruses of laughter and everyone walked out of the theater feeling that much better about themselves for not having taken part in the making of this movie.

Conclusion: This isn’t a movie. It isn’t even a story. What it is, is a testament to Hollywood’s ongoing war against the logic and reason of mankind.