Tired of a half-empty cup


Photo by unknown

Story by Ashley Diggs, Co-managing editor

I’m sad to say it, but I think I’m giving up. I’m getting really tired of living my life by a half-empty cup. I want to change my mentality to stay away from the insanity that I feel I’m coming closer to with every act of vanity. Socially, I try to be a go getter but then I shun those I’ve won because only I can make myself feel better. I need to find someone the same, with a similar type of brain because I’m tired of being condemned by those who only see the picture in the frame.

This whole thing will seem disjointed, but I’m just disappointed by how I was fooled and retooled by the conforming masses. But then I woke anew, I did things I never thought that I would do. It was sure awhile coming but it was worth all of the pain that it’d be numbing. I’ve survived the tribulations, with no congratulations because the journey I have traveled is one that can only be unraveled by a solitary man who’s broken away from the set plan. I finally reached the light but with the gift of hindsight I’ve found this decision may not have been right. Until I die I’ll be faced with questions that I don’t know if I’ll be able to find their answers.

While I sit and wonder I’ll envy those who slumber, in a peaceful silent sleep feeling safe and secure in the beliefs they’ll keep. But that is not me, I’m looking to set my mind free. Please no one take this personally I’m only venting what’s internally been eating at my heart and words I’ve been to afraid to let out verbally.

I’m content with the fact that most people like to live within their box. Their teachings have been set and they will learn what they are told which is really just what has been accepted as the same old same old. I prefer a different way of thinking in terms of all my views and I have no problem sharing but I will not tell you what to choose. I think that is fair, am I wrong with that statement? Since I’ve stumbled upon this mindset though many seem to disagree. It’s ok for them to tell me what is right, but when I say that I find that wrong that is me trying to start a fight? I’m not writing this note to get in anybody’s faces, I’m just sharing what I’ve dealt with in my separate cases. I said I’ve given up, on probably most of human kind, because so many people leave shackles on their minds. But inside me there is hope, a small sliver that keeps me sane. All I can hope is that these thoughts are not in vain. This is not at all a sham, I’ll accept you as you are if you accept me as I am.