A delicious(?) Christmas

Picky eater rates Christmas food


Photo by Teresa Sanchez

I tried every food available to me at a typical Christmas dinner.

Story by Emma Allen, staff writer

I’m not a fan of a lot of food; however, I find eating very enjoyable. It has to be the right foods, like perhaps chicken strips. But at most Christmas dinners, I’m not going to find chicken strips, so what am I supposed to eat? Therefore, I have taken it upon myself to solve this problem. I tried every food available to me at a typical Christmas dinner.

Ham: 9/10

This is a classic. I actually really like ham, and I would absolutely eat it again, preferably a lot of it. I have very little I can say about ham because it is simply so good, except for the little fatty bits that are hard to cut, and once you finally do cut it, it’s horribly hard to chew and not worth the bite anyway.

Turkey: 3/10

Another classic, but one I don’t like. I’m not sure why turkey is such a staple food. Sure, it’s healthier than many of the other options, but let’s be honest here, if you’re eating a Christmas dinner, are you worried about what’s good for you? I’d eat it, but only if it was just a piece of something else, not as a dish all alone. It’s just so darn dry.

Stuffing: 7/10

I’ll have to specify here: my mom’s stuffing. I don’t know what she’s doing in that kitchen, but whatever it is, it’s working. There’s turkey in the stuffing, and I think that’s the only acceptable place for the meat. The moisture from the stuffing keeps the turkey from taking its dry form.

Mashed Potatoes: 5/10

I may make some enemies with this one, but I don’t really like mashed potatoes. Fries? Great. Tater tots? Wonderful. Baked potatoes? Sure, why not? There’s just something about potatoes being mashed that isn’t appealing. Perhaps it’s the way that it nearly melts in your mouth. Potatoes aren’t supposed to melt.

Mac and Cheese: 10/10

I don’t think I should have to go into this one. I mean, come on, it’s mac and cheese. There are a lot of things that cheese improves upon, and pasta is one of them. Once again, my mother’s cheesy concoction is one of the best you will find. Though you may not know my mom, nor have any way to access her mac and cheese, you’ve got to try it.

Rolls: 10/10

It’s bread. 

Green Bean Casserole: 8/10

I have already said this multiple times, but hear me out: my mom’s green bean casserole. To be fair, I’ve only tried two kinds of the casserole, but hers was better. I didn’t like it for many years, but recently I’ve begun to eat it again after avoiding it for most of my life. 

Sweet Potato Casserole: 2-6/10 (depending on the type)

No thank you. I’ve tried several sweet-potato-themed things, from fries to tater tots, but they can’t stack up to their regular potato counterparts. Though I’ve never tried a regular potato casserole, (is that even a thing?) I imagine I would like it better. However, I’ve found a sweet potato casserole that’s actually not that bad. Once again, my mom’s. I think that has something to do with the fact that I couldn’t taste any sweet potatoes, only sugar and the praline topping. 

Cranberry Sauce: 0/10

First of all, this is not a sauce. I don’t know why it’s called that. It is much closer to a jelly, one that comes in a can and retains the shape and ridges of said can when it’s emptied onto a plate. The appearance is unappetizing from the very beginning, but when I took a bite of it? Even worse. See, I like cranberry juice, so I thought that I should enjoy the sauce (jelly) as well, but, boy, was I wrong. It’s slippery, the kind of thing that likes to dance around your mouth while you’re trying to chew it, but you just want to hurry up and chew it so that you can get it out of your mouth. For some reason that I cannot possibly fathom, this is one of the only things my cousin’s husband does eat.

Pumpkin/Pecan Pie: 8/10 and 9/10 respectively 

Honestly, not liking pumpkin pie is a weird concept to me. I’m sure there are plenty of people who don’t like it, but for me, it’s one of the only acceptable forms of pumpkin. (Adding cool whip is also recommended.) However, I don’t like the crust. It’s bland and much too hard. Why would you put the worst part of pie at the end of the piece? Then there’s pecan pie. This was another thing I used to refuse to eat, but I have since come to my senses. It’s probably not the best idea if you have braces, what with the sticky innards and chewy pecans, but otherwise, I think it’s a very solid pie. In fact, I like it better than pumpkin.

Looking back, I’m starting to think that I’m not as picky as I thought. I would in no way call myself an adventurous eater, I just know what I like and stick to it, but it turns out that what I like is more than it was a few years ago. And though I bash on some foods, I greatly appreciate the time and effort that goes into preparing such a dinner, or any meal for that matter, but I think I’ll just leave the stuff I don’t like to those who do.